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How am I being Perceived?

I've been reading through books on communication, public speaking, and persuasion. In my everyday interaction with people, how am I being perceived? The quote that started this constant question goes something like this "we cannot see reality in totality, because of our past experiences that project on the current reality" John Stoker in Overcoming Fake Talk. Essentially we project our past experiences on the current experience that is in the works. So the other question I have asked myself is "how much have I really missed?"

That's the idea around why I'm starting this blog. It's not really for people to read. This is for me to store my thoughts of things that happen every day. Whether it be about my son, wife, career, or anything really. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day. That's an incredibly high number of thoughts and for some reason I can only remember a few. They usually consist around when am I going to eat? When am I getting my son from daycare? When is my wife getting off work?

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While those are the important thoughts, I have thousands of other thoughts a day. Yet I don't know where they went! No I don't have memory issues I'm talking about specific things that you say in your mind. The actual words that play out while you're discussing or doing something. The words that play out in your head all day long that you either brush off or dread. Where do those thoughts go? And what are they doing to me long-term?

My thoughts affect the way people perceive me and they also affect how I perceive people. My thoughts allow me to show myself as happy, sad, or any other emotion I may feel. That's the other thing I noticed, all my emotions stem from thoughts that I'm thinking. I know that now thanks to this quote. "Your challenge is to uncover the thinking at the root of your emotional reactions." John Stoker in Overcoming Fake Talk. Okay, so challenge accepted. Not only does this challenge break down your emotions into a logical state, you don't feel so overwhelmed by it anymore. At the same time it allows you to reflect on those thoughts. Instead of explaining to people one way. I now explain in a few different ways, no matter what I'm saying and in a more concise manner.

Why? What do you see when I say "car?" It depends on where you're at in life. My wife sees a Jeep, I see an Audi and my sister in-law just saw 4 wheels. Even if I would have communicated specifically the type of car. You would still see what you want. Although that seems like a simple way of explaining miscommunication, that's exactly what happens. My words bounce off of your past experiences of sights, smells and sounds. Then you create your understanding of what I'm saying. But then we examine something else from our past experiences. We examine the tonality and afflictions in the voice, body language, and other non-verbal cues. That's used to determine authenticity.

My thoughts and actions in the long run determine how other people perceive me. They also determine how I perceive other people. I wish I would have started this years ago, but you have to start somewhere.

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Posted in Real Estate Post Date 09/02/2018


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